obsessed.

I've have been going through this book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. Although I started it over a month ago I am still in the process of reading. After reading a chapter I have taken weeks to chew and digest all the stuff that is thrown at me. I'm absolutely loving this book so far, but I have been stuck on a chapter for over two weeks now, reading and rereading it continuously. Journaling about it, talking about it with friends here at school, and now blogging about it.

The chapter is called Profile of the Obsessed, it has caused me to do a lot of self evaluating about how I am acting in my life and what I am following. The chapter talks about different characteristics that people can have whether pointed towards things or people of this world or towards our awesome God. I'm gonna give you a little summary from each section so you can get a little taste.

Lovers <3

If we only love the people who are nice to us or love us back, we aren't following what god has called us to.

Luke 6:35 says, " But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back."

We can't choose who we love, God didn't pick and choose between us. He loves us all than we can ever imagine. We are called to love the prostitutes, the broken, the sick, the poor, the molesters.

"True faith is loving a person after they have hurt you. True love makes you stand out." - Francis Chan

"People who are obsessed with Jesus give freely and openly, without censure. Obsessed people love those who hate them and who can never love them back."

-Crazy Love

Risk Takers-

We often pray for safety when taking trips, but I want to start praying "God bring me closer to You during this trip, whatever it takes.." Who knows what God can do when we start praying this and taking risks for Him. I want to be uncomfortable for Christ, especially if it means growing closer to Him and bringing others closer to Him.

"People who are obsessed with Jesus aren't consumed with their personal safety and comfort above all else. Obsessed people care more about God's kingdom coming to this earth than their own lives being shielded from pain or distress."

-Crazy Love

Friends of All-

"People who are obsessed with Jesus live lives that connect them with the poor in some way or another. Obsessed people believe that Jesus talked about money and the poor so often because it was really important to Him."

-Crazy Love

Crazy Ones-

For me I sometimes get to caught up in what other people think. Who am I kidding a lot of times, especially when God is calling me to do something crazy and out of the ordinary, but why? What else in this world is going to benefit me more than what God is calling me to? Thats right! NOTHING!!!!! I want to make crazy steps for Christ.

"Obsessed people are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo. A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don't always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth. As Martin Luther puts it, "There are two days on my calendar: this day and that day."

-Crazy Love

The Humble-

Oh how pride sneaks into our lives as we let it. We don't deserve any of the glory yet I know for me I find myself somehow getting the glory when I do not have any right to be receiving any type of glory. I don't want to split the glory half and half: some for me and some for God. No He needs to get it all.

"A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the sin of pride is always a battle. Obsessed people know that you can never be "humble enough" and so they seek to make themselves less known and Christ more known."- Crazy Love

Servers-

"People who are obsessed with Jesus do not consider service a burden. Obsessed people take joy in loving God by loving His people."- Crazy Love

Givers-

"People who are obsessed with God are known as givers, not takers. Obsessed people genuinely think that others matter as much as they do, and they are particularly aware of those who are poor around the world." - Crazy Love

Sojourners-

"A person who is obsessed thinks about heaven frequently. Obsessed people orient their lives around eternity; they are not fixed only on what here in front of them."

-Crazy Love

The Engrossed-

I choose to put God first in my life, above all things and all people. With God first I know I can have a bigger impact.

"A person who is obsessed is characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being." - Crazy Love

Unguarded Ones-

Vulnerability. God already knows all, and yet I still try to hide things from Him. Seems pretty dumb doesn't it. I need to work on my vulnerability with God. I know I can be real with Him and He won't judge me, He will love me the same always forever.

"People who are obsessed are raw with God; they do not attempt to mask their ugliness of their sins or their failures. Obsessed people don't put it on for God; He is their safe place, where they can be at peace."- Crazy Love

The Rooted-

Two questions that stuck with me: " How much money is spent on yourself, and how much is directed toward God's kingdom?" and "How much of your time is dedicated to pursuing your life and your goals, and how much is focused on God's work and purposes?"

"People who are obsessed with God have an intimate relationship with Him. They are nourished by God's word throughout the day because they know that forty minutes on sunday is not enough to sustain them for a whole wee, especially when they will encounter so many distractions and alternative messages." - Crazy Love

The Dedicated-

" A person who is obsessed with Jesus is more concerned with his or her character than comfort. Obsessed people know that true joy doesn't depend on circumstances or environment; it is a gift that must be chosen and cultivated, a gift that ultimately comes from God." - Crazy Love

Sacrificers-

"A person who is obsessed with Jesus knows that the best thing he can do is be faithful to his Savior in every aspect of his life., continually saying, "Thank You!!" to God. An obsessed person knows there can never be intimacy if he is always trying to pay God back or work hard enough to be worthy. He revels in his role a child and friend of God." - Crazy Love

WOOOO! I know that is a ton of information and I'm sure you can see why I have been thinking about this over the past couple of weeks!!

But seriously think about it, What if we lived our lives in an obsession with Christ, as person who is obsessed with Jesus!! What difference would that make in the world if we lived this way.

I am going to strive with all my might to live a life of a person who is obsessed with JESUS!! I know I will stumble and mess up, but if I can be a brighter light in this world for Christ I am going to go for it with everything that I have.

obsessed: To have the mind excessively preoccupied with a single emotion or topic.

I am obsessed with Jesus and I am going to try my best to live to show that I am obsessed with Christ.

God bless

Steve

A few months ago I began going to St. Martin's Community Center, in the inner city of Marion. St. Martin's is a food pantry, thrift store, and soup kitchen which provides much needed necessities of life to many of the people of Marion who can't afford them. When starting their I was told that I would encounter prostitutes, drug dealers, homeless, abusers, alcoholics, and other people struggling with aspects of life. I will admit I was a little nervous about starting, but I knew God had led me to St. Martin's for a reason.

The first day I started serving at St. Martin's I was watched and observed by most people as they were kinda trying to figure me out, but I was approached by one man and his name is Steve. Steve is a BIG guy, he has been an alcoholic for over 6 years, and is quite intimidating when he starts to run at you. He wears a bike helmet almost all the time and a big winter coat. Steve and I had a rough start, but after addressing some limits and lines that he can't cross we have become good friends.

Whenever Steve walks into the community center you know it. He has a loud, deep voice that echoes in the community center. We always share laughs and have conversations, some of our conversations are just goofy, some about how our weeks are going, and sometimes I even get to talk about Jesus with him. Steve tells me over and over that he is broken and there is nothing in life for him besides alcohol. I have tried talking to Steve about how Jesus can fill the voids in his life and how with Jesus in his life, he could feel whole and be whole. Each conversation I have with Steve we take teeny, tiny baby steps, but they are steps. As he begins to trust me more, the more he opens up with me. I may not be the one to lead Steve to Christ, but I pray and hope that I am planting seeds, for God to use in amazing ways.

I care for Steve, I hurt with Steve, I pray for Steve, I can even say I love Steve. I can tell he is going through a battle, a trial in life, but I know God will be victorious. Steve can call me his woman as many times as he wants, he can cuss in front of me as much as he wants, he can talk about how drunk he was the night before and I will still love him I just pray that one day he comes to know Christ and that he knows that others care and love him. Steve is a child of Christ just like you and I, he isn't on a lower level because he is an alcoholic or because he wears the same thing everyday or because he comes to a community center. Steve is a middle-aged man, friend, and brother, and I know God has a plan for him.

(sorry if i rambled)

God bless :)

deactivation.

Last week I decided to deactivate facebook. When I told some people, I got reactions like... " are you crazy", "why in the world would you do that", "well thats stupid". I got a nice little laugh at all the reactions of people. The reasoning behind my so called "madness" is that facebook was becoming a major distraction in my life and more importantly in my walk with Christ. I would find myself constantly getting onto facebook and spending way to much time just looking at a computer screen. (how in the world is staring at a computer screen glorifying God) Another thing that lead me to turn off the ole' facebook was a close friend that also decided to deactivate facebook, she said something that stuck with me until I turned it off.

She said "I found myself saying that I can't live without facebook and thats when I knew I needed a major break from facebook."

I'm not saying facebook is a horrible invention, its actually a great one. It can connect you with distant friends and remind you of birthdays and let you share pictures with everyone. But at the same time at least for me, it caused jealousy in certain situations, it caused hurt when I wasn't invited to events or was left out. Facebook can cause trivial little fights that are over the dumbest things. I have been gossiped about on facebook on peoples walls for the whole world to see. Facebook is one of the things that is taking over the world. I can't sit in the coffee shop here at school without hearing someone talk about something on facebook, actually pretty much wherever I go I here about facebook. I just think we need to spend less time talking about what we saw on facebook or what was posted and spend more time talking about Christ and reaching the lost.

I'm not saying you should follow my lead and deactivate facebook, but for me it was a necessity at least for a while. I need to heal from somethings in the past that got stirred up on facebook, I need to get my priorities straight, I need to put all my focus on God and not have a secular escape. But at the same time you may want to pray about how much you are on facebook, what are your priorities, and is facebook actually benefitting you more than it is distracting you?

God bless :)

Laid on my heart..

First off, welcome to my blog folks. I've been considering starting blogging and tonight I made my decision. I'm a normal 19 year old girl with a passion to serve Christ and to give Him all the glory, honor, and praise. Christ is my everything and I live to love Him and the people around me. Hope you enjoy my future blogs as God works in my life and I continue my journey with Him.

A couple of weeks ago I felt lead to make a list, a list of things that I felt had been laid on my heart by God. I'm not even sure if I am suppose to complete all these things, but as I was writing I knew there was and is a purpose for them. I truly believe that God has laid many of these on my heart to accomplish, some may be by myself while others will involve working alongside my fellow brothers and sisters. Our God works in amazing ways as many of you already know, I'm so excited to see where God leads me with these precious tasks He has laid on my heart.

"With human beings this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." - Matthew 19:26

Time to Go:

~ raise money for a cause

~ hot chocolate, bibles, cheeseburgers in an inner city or downtown indy

~ orphanage for special needs kids wherever God leads me*******

~ help repair houses in marion

~ international internship in the mission field (panama, mexico, africa??)

~ build relationships at st.martin's (check!! praise JESUS)

~ study abroad

~ simplify my life

~ fast more often

As I continue this journey that God is leading me on I ask that you keep me in your prayers. May God bless you all:) :)